


Marriage School

by Ladytalon



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-08
Updated: 2010-06-08
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon





	Marriage School

  
  
  
  
  
Guinny  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, not making any $$  
**Word Count:** 1,718

  


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Marcus still couldn't see why they had to do such a thing, and told her so at every opportunity. "After all, a blood oath is more binding than simple marriage vows," he insisted, trying to keep from folding his arms across his chest like a sulky human child.

Guinny just looked up at him and patted his chest in a patronizing manner. "It'll be over before you know it," she promised. He scowled and hoped she was right… they walked to the next door down and his fiancée greeted the reverend who would be officiating at the wedding ceremony. "Mark! How's your leg doing?" she asked, grabbing Marcus' arm as he attempt to slip out unnoticed. "This is Marcus," Guinny announced, beaming.

_Mark and Marcus? You've got to be kidding me… _ he turned just as Reverend Mark looked up, and the look of terrified recognition in the other man's face made Marcus smile and hold out his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Reverend."

Mark's face was drained of all color. "Child, do you _know_ what you have brought inside these walls?" he whispered, fumbling at his neck to pull a crucifix from beneath his shirt collar.

Guinny blinked in surprise and looked back and forth between them. "What're you talking about?" Reverend Mark extended the small gold cross as far as it could go on its chain, and comprehension visibly dawned on her face. "Oh! You mean, I forgot to tell you that he's evil?"

Marcus let the corners of his mouth curve into a grin at her tone of voice – she might as well have been annoyed at forgetting to stop for gas on the way home, one of the things he loved most about her. "But…this…you…he…_evil_," Mark protested. Marcus dropped into a chair without waiting for an invitation to do so, and stared at the man insolently. This might be fun after all…

That decision took an abrupt 180 when Revered Mark suddenly returned his stare and pulled out the thickest packet of forms he'd ever seen in this dimension, or any other. Even Wolfram &amp; Hart didn't have that kind of paperwork! Guinny was a bit round-eyed as she stared at it, too. "Um, Mark…? Is that what I think it is?"

The reverend smirked, sliding it across the desk towards them. "Oh, this is only his. Let me get _yours…_" Marcus stared in disbelief as Guinny received a slim folder. "Just fill this out, dear, and get it back to me as soon as you're done." He ushered them out into the hall and down to another room that was apparently used for 'The Senior Citizen Craft Bazaar!', according to the large hand-painted sign on the door.

"Guinny," Marcus began as soon as the reverend left the room chuckling. "Hey, did you hear that? He just chuckled. _Nobody_ chuckles at me." She immediately shushed him, bending over her meager three pages of paperwork like it was more important than the blow to his ego. And more time consuming than the pile _he'd_ been given. "Guin," he tried once more.

"Sssh!" she hissed, her pencil flying over the paper. "Hurry and get the test done so we can go eat; I'm hungry."

He sighed and opened the packet, digging through the pile of papers with titles such as, "Planning your marriage? Let Jesus help!" and "You don't know her until you know Him!" to get to the matching page. This one said it was something called a Happy Hearts Quiz, whatever that meant. Marcus sighed again, just in case Guinny hadn't heard him the first time. His dark haired fiancée continued ignoring him, so he reluctantly picked up a pencil and began filling out his answers. _ 'You like spending time together: Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, Strongly Disagree?' Who makes these things up, Pordw'qui'la Demons? _ He shook his head, penciled in _Strongly Agree_, and moved on to the next question which asked if he often felt pressured to comply with the other person's wishes.

"Don't even think about it," Guinny's voice rang out suddenly. Marcus hurriedly moved the pencil away from _Strongly Agree_ to its polar opposite. He dropped his arm across the top of his page so she couldn't see what his other answers were and kept going until he reached some questions about the importance he placed upon their sex life. Guinny seemed to be absorbed in reading her questions; she was almost done with hers, so he figured that if he just took a little peek it wouldn't do any harm… Marcus craned his neck to get a look, but her head whipped around as if she'd just been waiting for him to try it. "_Marcus!_ You can't cheat on a test like this," she said, sounding scandalized.

"But I wasn't trying to cheat," he explained. "I was just trying to see what answers you picked out so that mine would match."

Guinny just shook her head at him and moved a few seats down, as if that would make a difference. "And don't try using your Demon-O-Vision to look over here, either," she reprimanded.

Marcus heaved another sigh and went back to filling out little circles – what exactly would happen if he got graphite outside the lines? Humans always thought the world would end over such insignificant details… he jerked in surprise when Guinny's chair scraped back across the floor and she stood up. "Where are you going? We just got here…" _…ten hours ago_...

"I'm done, I'm hungry, and I'm going to get some lunch while you finish up the rest of that," she said cheerfully. "I can ask Mark to come in here and help you out."

His eyes widened as he took in the amount of papers he still needed to read through. "You can't _leave_ me here," he protested.

"You'll be fine, sweetie."

"But it's a _church! _"

"When has that ever bothered you?"

"This room smells like old people!"

"Good_bye_, Marcus."

He'd slogged through half the packet and was busily glaring at the rest of the nonsense when Reverend Mark stuck his head in the door. "Not done yet, I see…"

Marcus lifted his head to glare at the man. "This serves no purpose."

"Neither does your connection with Guinevere – what do you hope to accomplish by marrying her?"

Marcus was astounded. "_Accomplish? _ I happen to be marrying her because I love her." He wondered if Guinny would notice if Reverend Mark performed the ceremony with only one arm after he ripped the other one off and fed it to him.

"Evil doesn't love."

"And holiness is no guarantee of fashion sense, as you so admirably demonstrate." Marcus rose to his full height, towering over the small mortal who took a step back despite himself.

"Are you trying to be threatening?"

"I could be," agreed Marcus at his most polite.

Reverend Mark folded his arms. "Guinny is very serious about pre-marriage counseling, you heathen."

"Meaning?"

"_Meaning _that if I led her to believe that you two had no chance at being compatible within the bonds of matrimony…or managed to skew the results of your tests…"

Marcus' eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

He sighed. "What do you want?"

The infuriating man immediately pulled a scroll out from somewhere, and unrolled it with a flourish. "Sign here." He tapped the bottom of the page while Marcus bent to scan it, frowning. He liked this a whole lot better when the reverend had been scared of him; he must be losing his touch.

Snatching the scroll from the other man's hands, Marcus read it carefully and looked back up. "This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. And I've seen quite a few ridiculous things in my time."

Reverend Mark smiled. "I'm sure you have. Will you sign it, or will I have to talk to your intended?"

"How did you get this?" Marcus asked, aware that he should be a great deal angrier than he really felt. "And if you say that He works in mysterious ways, I'll stuff you in your own desk drawer."

"It's been kept safe for centuries, and I'd never really thought it would ever be used… but things have a way of coming in handy." The man's grin widened. "Would you like a pen?"

Marcus sighed. "I have one right here." He pulled a pen out from his suit jacket's inside pocket and, placing the document on the table, signed his name. The ink flashed white before sinking into the parchment, and the big liaison felt a sudden jerk as if a part of him were being removed. Because something had been, after a fashion. "I'm not filling out any more paperwork," he insisted.

The reverend held a hand out for the remaining papers, a newly respectful look upon his face. "You will still need to come in for the follow-up, but I'm confident the results won't tell me anything I don't already know. Have a good day, Mister Hamilton." Marcus still felt like punching him, but reached out to shake the hand being extended towards him.

Guinny came in the room, digging in her purse for something. "I'm back, sweetie, did you fini- oh, look at you two! I'm glad you finally decided to put your differences aside." She beamed up at Marcus as if it had been his intention all along, and he squeezed the reverend's hand almost hard enough to crush it. "Oh, be careful! He's got quite a grip," she advised a wincing Reverend Mark. "So, we'll come back in a week?"

"Y-yes, a week's fine," the man said, massaging his bruised hand. "You two kids behave yourselves, now."

Marcus slid an arm around her and urged his wife-to-be towards the doors. "Let's go have sex."

Guinny started giggling helplessly at the shocked gasp behind them. "Marcus!"

Later as he smoothed her dark hair back from her sleeping face, Marcus studied her features and smiled. He'd never thought to forfeit what he had signed away, but somehow it seemed right that the vow of _ 'til death do us part_ would be carried out. Guinny shifted against him and he bent to brush a kiss over her lips before pulling the sheet up over their entwined bodies and settling back against the pillows to hold her until he fell asleep.

~_fin_~  
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